Does my ex have to complete this kit as well as me?

No, but that would be ideal.Agreements made through mediation are likely to be more sustainable than those made through a court. Therefore if you as a couple you can work your own way through all these different agreements, not only will they last, but you will have a good foundation for dealing with difficulties that may arise in the future. This is the best outcome your kids could hope for.

However, this kit can be of benefit if you are going through it alone before facing a legal process. It will help you think through your priorities and get your head straight and give you more confidence to state your position clearly in an adversarial environment or under questioning.


Do I have to share my answers with anyone else?

No, although should you go to court you will be required to fully disclose your financial assets, liabilities and income as outlined in this kit.If you and your ex are doing this together then you might both agree to keep the self-reflection questionnaire private, but share your thoughts on the parenting and financial plans. Of course, what you share and how you share it is up to you, you may choose to email each other at a particular time, or to meet up somewhere neutral and chat.

If you have a good friend who you feel safe to confide in, then it may be useful to share some of this reflective material with them, before you share it with your ex, to see if anything you have said could be misinterpreted.


Can I complete these questionnaires online?

No, this is not an online service. You need to download and save the forms on your computer before filling them in. This has the advantage of the contents remaining completely confidential between yourself and your ex. Within the purchase price you have the right to send one blank copy to your ex. How much you both share of your completed forms is up to you.


Do we have to go through the kit in order?

No, where you start and how much you do is up to you but, the self reflection section does provide a very good foundation for the later questions.


Have you provided everything we need to make our agreements legally binding?

Our questionnaires cover more than the courts will require of you. If you work through this mediation successfully and decide that you want to make your agreements legally binding, then you will need to apply for a Consent Order, for which there is a charge.You can check this document out now on: https://www.gov.uk/money-property-when-relationship-ends/applyfor-consent-order

If you do decide to make your agreements legally binding we do suggest that you both seek independent legal advice. All the paperwork and you have produced through guidedMediation will be useful in this process and should reduce the workload of your solicitor.

In the Resources & Glossary section you will find links to many other court documents.


What happens if we cannot agree?

If you cannot reach agreement and need to go to court then you will need to show a qualified family mediator that you have tried mediation but failed. They need to sign a C100 form which you have to enclose with your court documents. There will be a charge for this service.


Is there a time limit?

Not from us, but you may have court dates planned in which case you will have to agree with each other what deadlines you wish to set. Even if there is nothing external to create a deadline we do suggest you set one for yourselves, letting these decisions drag on benefits no one, least of all your child. Why not aim for three months from the date you both begin?